January 17th, 2017

It’s not that we are lazy or, or busy, or even that we’re that much smarter the second time around. But, I’ll be honest, it’s probably some combination of those things that drive us to make wildly different parenting and lifestyle choices with #2.

This month we are talking about our experience with restaurant outings, with one kid, and then with two. Keep in mind, this is a judgement free zone, friends.

First Kid

Let me paint you a picture: the coordinated high chair cover, four toys pre-attached, a bib, and a very thoroughly wiped down eating surface. You’re welcome, Olivia.

Olivia, circa 2013, hanging on for dear life; “these two are crazy”

I cannot emphasize the cleaning enough: I think we used half a package of wipes to clean down the high chair. And the table. And the sides of the table and all adjacent surfaces just in case.

We don’t forget to map out the exits and the kid friendly areas. For the love of our marriage, and eating warm food, we graciously take turns when the little one makes the tiniest of peeps, so as not to disturb our dining neighbors.

OH. And don’t even think of appetizers and dessert. One course, all at once,  and ‘can you bring the kid’s meal out AS SOON AS ITS READY?’

My tight-lipped expression doesn’t go unnoticed by the waitress who either A, flashes us a knowing ‘I totally get it’ smile, (bless you!)  or B, non-verbally implies people with children really should just eat at home.

Jackets are on before the bill arrives. Why dilly dally?
Is it me or is it extremely stressful in here?

Have you ever bumped your head on the table cleaning toddlers scraps off the floor and while simultaneously wondering: is this my life now? and did any food make it into her mouth?

Yeah, me neither…

Second Kid

Ok kiddos, you know the deal, if you’re 2 and under you’re eating right off the cleanish table. The plate is for aesthetics only, obvi. Listen, everyone knows that a sterile environment is no bueno for kiddos. (Boy were we relieved when we learned this)

We pack no toys because crayons & kids menus are always exciting. But mostly because we like a little danger in our lives. Okay, really its because we generally forget non-essentials.

Also, we put the kids high chairs right next to each other so they can keep each other busy. Don’t worry about the noise.

Who doesn’t enjoy the sound of a child’s laughter followed quickly by tortured screaming?

You know we are totally getting dessert. I deserve it. And that’s the only way I could get the 4 year old to eat restaurant broccoli (“mama, its squishy. There’s SO MUCH of it. Why can’t I just eat the bread and dessert?” I often ask myself the same thing, sweetie.)

And if there’s a mess left behind. (You and I both know there is) we tip, heavily. And pray that God totally gets it too.

Stay tuned for more confessions  stories of our 2nd kid style parenting. xo.

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